Let it out

Days like this one remind me of the days where you really start to think how completely insane the world actually is. You find yourself at a complete loss of what to think, say or do because it's all too crazy for your liking, and you end up doing nothing because you just don't have the energy or stamina to keep up with the world around you.
You could have a plan the night before, for example:
-Do homework
-Don't sleep in
-Go for walk
-Go to town
etc etc
But then the plan just fails...as soon as you wake up, you feel like nothing is possible because it's one of those days when you feel the world is crazy. So you laze about, completely bored just watching the time flicker by watching Scrubs or films you hate, but really it only takes one small action for you to start getting on top of things, and not wasting the time you will never get back.
For example, something really simple like taking out the rubbish, or jumping on a trampoline can give you the burst of energy you've been needing, if, of course, you can be bothered to get up.

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more"
I love that saying.
It's from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and I found out it was true at about 4 o clock this morning.
I couldn't get to sleep, I'd gone to bed quite late as it's half term and my throat's been playing up a bit, so generally I reached for the book Leaving Poppy by Kate Cann and carried on reading. It was fine for a while, but as I kept reading this intense fear gripped me. I was at the part in the book where, after a series of strange circumstances such as a wedged door rattling at night, the characters had begun to discuss why one girl had moved out, and the weird reasons behind it. Of course, this is another spooky stories about ghosts and whatnot, but it gave me a great sense of unease because you never know, maybe some of it is actually real, and we all have to face the choice to whether we believe in something like ghosts or not.
I think it's our choices that really matter, because if we choose not to believe in something such as ghosts then they don't worry us, and if we do then they can be a bit freaky, but we'd want to investigate them more, and would probably be fascinated by them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but for those stuck in between belief and non-belief (like me) it is a completely different matter. Because we don't know whether they're real or not, we fear them, for their existence or non existence. So as I was reading today, I felt that this image of a ghost or spirit, or even presence was right behind me but even though I understood it was crazy, that it was from a book and couldn't be there, the fear was still there.
The mind's a funny thing, really.

When I write stories, I think it's all going really well. I enjoy writing them, and really start to get involved in the plot line, the action, the intensity of what I feel I am writing. I start to develop the characters, the sets, the feelings; they go straight from my head onto the paper, and my hands blur so fast when I'm writing/typing that it's a little bit scary.
But then I look back at what I've written, and notice how small the section of the page it's filled up, or how quickly the paragraphs have been written, and I become disappointed. I don't see something worthy of how I felt when I wrote it, because it just ends so suddenly. In books I read fight scenes go on for hours, and I'm hooked till the very end, but when I re-read what I write, it's somehow different and too fast paced, and I get bored of it.
I think that's why I start a story but never finish it. I'm never that pleased with the end result because it's so annoying stupid to me. Other people think different; they see the stories I do write as really good, intense with amazing plot lines and characters, but I think because I have low self esteem, and a low opinion of myself, I just don't see what the others do.